Mundane Nothings
Sunday, May 13, 2012
It's Mothers' Day... :)
Everyday is mothers' day to me. Really. Ok, realistically, what everyone does on Mothers' Day is done every weekend. We go out together as a family and we rush for the bill whenever we can. That's just the way it is. Which is why, I think you'd understand why I scoff at the sight of families overtly molly-coddling their mummies and putting up this spectacle for all to witness. There is this tacit competition between families trying to out-do each other as they strive to get in the good books of their mummies, only for the day though. I think it probably will last through the day and when the next sunrise comes things will go back to what it was prior to that... Mother is left alone as the entire household leaves for work and she gets forgotten til the next 'Mothers' Day'. It's hypocrisy at its best.
And that was my Sunday. The family went about the usual. Search the place for makan and then just lepak away our weekend. We were just observing people and how their Mothers' Day was like. I could do nothing but smile and shake my head. I wish everyday was Mothers' Day. It should be so... If only these kids were just as loving and considerate throughout the 365 days we're given instead of just being nice to their mummies on a designated day. *shrugs*
It's Monday, tomorrow. I got used to waking up to a public holiday falling on a Monday. Too bad it's not so tomorrow. Tonight we'll be watching the last few matches of the Barclay Premier League before it goes off for a break and returns next season. It's gonna be emotional, I'm sure. It doesn't really matter if we (Arsenal) lose or win because I think we pretty much seal the deal being one of the top 4 teams already. I just hope we end the season with a dignified score and that our spirit remains high as we prepare for the battle next season. Heh. On that note, it's gonna take me a while before I can get used to the new kit. It doesn't look as good as this season's.
Today's take-away: Stay true to yourself. The environment does not make you who you are. You are who you are because you know what you want, what is wrong, what is right and what others' want.
¶ 9:36 PM 0 Comments
Everyday is mothers' day to me. Really. Ok, realistically, what everyone does on Mothers' Day is done every weekend. We go out together as a family and we rush for the bill whenever we can. That's just the way it is. Which is why, I think you'd understand why I scoff at the sight of families overtly molly-coddling their mummies and putting up this spectacle for all to witness. There is this tacit competition between families trying to out-do each other as they strive to get in the good books of their mummies, only for the day though. I think it probably will last through the day and when the next sunrise comes things will go back to what it was prior to that... Mother is left alone as the entire household leaves for work and she gets forgotten til the next 'Mothers' Day'. It's hypocrisy at its best.
And that was my Sunday. The family went about the usual. Search the place for makan and then just lepak away our weekend. We were just observing people and how their Mothers' Day was like. I could do nothing but smile and shake my head. I wish everyday was Mothers' Day. It should be so... If only these kids were just as loving and considerate throughout the 365 days we're given instead of just being nice to their mummies on a designated day. *shrugs*
It's Monday, tomorrow. I got used to waking up to a public holiday falling on a Monday. Too bad it's not so tomorrow. Tonight we'll be watching the last few matches of the Barclay Premier League before it goes off for a break and returns next season. It's gonna be emotional, I'm sure. It doesn't really matter if we (Arsenal) lose or win because I think we pretty much seal the deal being one of the top 4 teams already. I just hope we end the season with a dignified score and that our spirit remains high as we prepare for the battle next season. Heh. On that note, it's gonna take me a while before I can get used to the new kit. It doesn't look as good as this season's.
Today's take-away: Stay true to yourself. The environment does not make you who you are. You are who you are because you know what you want, what is wrong, what is right and what others' want.
Let's milk it!
Bubbling Mundanities
After months, if not years of inactivity I am finally galvanised to navigate my way back to this. My one place where my deepest kept thoughts are freed and promulgated so that it will not sediment in my head, corrode and eat at what's left in it. I noticed as well how the absence of a platform like this kinda stifles my ability to think grotesquely out of the norm. And that, to me, is a major sacrifice. Thinking like the man, lady, kid, grandpa, and whatever else sitting next to me on the trains and buses isn't really my usual beat. I tend to dramatise things, exaggerate them and even stretch them to a point where it is ridiculous to even talk about. But that's me. And over the last couple of years, I lost that part of me. 'Lost' isn't really accurate though. It's more like, I restricted its play. I suppressed it. Censorship on a personal level, some may say. But a censorship that grew innate over time and it extinguished my, I daresay profound thoughts altogether. I don't know if it's too late... but i want it back. So this is where I undo the damage done. I have faith in you. At some point in my life, you've inspired me, led me to sanity, listened to my pleas and woes and somehow a solution is delivered. You were there all through my weakest and strongest moments. I have faith that you will bring me back to where/how I used to me. Let our journey begin...again.
¶ 2:10 PM 0 Comments
After months, if not years of inactivity I am finally galvanised to navigate my way back to this. My one place where my deepest kept thoughts are freed and promulgated so that it will not sediment in my head, corrode and eat at what's left in it. I noticed as well how the absence of a platform like this kinda stifles my ability to think grotesquely out of the norm. And that, to me, is a major sacrifice. Thinking like the man, lady, kid, grandpa, and whatever else sitting next to me on the trains and buses isn't really my usual beat. I tend to dramatise things, exaggerate them and even stretch them to a point where it is ridiculous to even talk about. But that's me. And over the last couple of years, I lost that part of me. 'Lost' isn't really accurate though. It's more like, I restricted its play. I suppressed it. Censorship on a personal level, some may say. But a censorship that grew innate over time and it extinguished my, I daresay profound thoughts altogether. I don't know if it's too late... but i want it back. So this is where I undo the damage done. I have faith in you. At some point in my life, you've inspired me, led me to sanity, listened to my pleas and woes and somehow a solution is delivered. You were there all through my weakest and strongest moments. I have faith that you will bring me back to where/how I used to me. Let our journey begin...again.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
It's been so long!
Too long! I'm still surviving. In fact, I need to scream out and say, I survived another full year! Yes, that was a scream. Another year beckons but that can wait for when my vacation re-moulds me. *winks*
On a happy note now, or rather, happier note, if you haven't already figured how delirious I'm about to get (rare moment), Sher Lin's getting married in less than a month! I know this doesnt come as a surprise because we have always predicted that she was gonna be the first amongst us, to get married. True enough! Next in line, my bet's on Asilah. *shhh* I'm pretty sure no one actually reads this blog, so let this just be a secret between you and I.
We'll see ya. Till the next nudge. So long sweet sunshine. ¶ 8:52 PM 0 Comments
On a happy note now, or rather, happier note, if you haven't already figured how delirious I'm about to get (rare moment), Sher Lin's getting married in less than a month! I know this doesnt come as a surprise because we have always predicted that she was gonna be the first amongst us, to get married. True enough! Next in line, my bet's on Asilah. *shhh* I'm pretty sure no one actually reads this blog, so let this just be a secret between you and I.
We'll see ya. Till the next nudge. So long sweet sunshine. ¶ 8:52 PM 0 Comments
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Stop and think.
In need of that. I need to quite literally stop and think. This bit is kinda time-consuming and a downer at some point hence I deliberately not wanna embark on that during my very short break. Yes, too short to be called a break if I consider the sleepless nights I had, reluctantly thinking about the prospect of heading back to a shit-load of work. So, I'm doing that screeching to a halt bit and then take some time out to sort out my action plan in order to stay afloat. I'm feeling the sting from the toxicity that's inevitably around me. Perhaps I am being too sensitive. Perhaps, not. You see where I am heading with this...no where.
I need to constantly remind myself that what people think of me should not matter. What they say too, should not matter. I need to stay independent because that's just who I am. I work best alone. I need to stop frowning because other than speeding up my aging process, it does not yield any benefits whatsoever. I need to stop thinking about other people and perhaps be a little selfish and put myself first. The first half of the year has taught me that if I do not see to my needs and welfare, no one else will. The workplace is nothing like home. At least, I have my parents to molly-coddle me at times when I need that most. Not so at the workplace.
Truth be told, I am beginning to despise my job. Like I've said earlier I love the kids but 'adult' part of the job just puts me off. I need time to hone my teaching skills, to collect and create teaching materials in order to have a well-engaged lesson plan. My status quo does not allow me to do so because I need to ensure that the level progresses at a pace prescribed by the people up there. People who do not feel the woes and pain we, the 'bottom' people face.
People behave differently depending on what they need and how useful you are to them. Among this breed, the lot that intrigues me the most includes the ones who are not hindered by humility. I am baffled by how much they can talk about themselves like they are really that great. Even if they were great, their greatness dwindles manifold merely due to the fact that big-yaps erodes the novelty of one's perceived greatness.
I've said a lot. I shall stop here and observe more. Perhaps being a wallflower suits me best afterall.
One thing for sure, I'm not staying here for long. ¶ 12:26 AM 0 Comments
I need to constantly remind myself that what people think of me should not matter. What they say too, should not matter. I need to stay independent because that's just who I am. I work best alone. I need to stop frowning because other than speeding up my aging process, it does not yield any benefits whatsoever. I need to stop thinking about other people and perhaps be a little selfish and put myself first. The first half of the year has taught me that if I do not see to my needs and welfare, no one else will. The workplace is nothing like home. At least, I have my parents to molly-coddle me at times when I need that most. Not so at the workplace.
Truth be told, I am beginning to despise my job. Like I've said earlier I love the kids but 'adult' part of the job just puts me off. I need time to hone my teaching skills, to collect and create teaching materials in order to have a well-engaged lesson plan. My status quo does not allow me to do so because I need to ensure that the level progresses at a pace prescribed by the people up there. People who do not feel the woes and pain we, the 'bottom' people face.
People behave differently depending on what they need and how useful you are to them. Among this breed, the lot that intrigues me the most includes the ones who are not hindered by humility. I am baffled by how much they can talk about themselves like they are really that great. Even if they were great, their greatness dwindles manifold merely due to the fact that big-yaps erodes the novelty of one's perceived greatness.
I've said a lot. I shall stop here and observe more. Perhaps being a wallflower suits me best afterall.
One thing for sure, I'm not staying here for long. ¶ 12:26 AM 0 Comments
Monday, May 09, 2011
When I say Geo, You say Caching...Geo!
Yes yes, election is over ya da ya da ya da, Singaporeans really talk more than they vote. Heh. Pappy still makes up more than the majority of the 87 seats. Bla bla bla. I'm sorry, I see no point in ranting on about something that is not going to bring any change at all. Yes, I am a Bimbo and I couldn't careless.
My first Small Cache! I found tucked at some discreet place in SG. The satisfaction derived from it is just surreal. I'm not gonna even attempt to word out the sheer motivation you'd be struck with after that first discovery. It's like, you then thirst for more. Insane. :)
And so we search for planted caches around and when we find it, we log our identity on it and for me theres an additional step to that... We take Happy Pictures~
On to cooler stuff, today marks my first experience with the notion of Geocaching! I loved every moment of it. Seriously, where was I all these eleven years? This is a beautiful, authentic hunting game that allows people to move around with an aim. A mission. A reason. It's just what I needed. Suddenly my life takes shape. Suddenly I see a purpose in life. Suddenly...ok I am being a tad dramatic now, pardon me. Hee. I need to first thank Irene for having introduced this potentially addictive (not in a facebook kinda way) activity to me. Im doing my part in spreading the word. My sisters are now captivated by this idea too. Hehe. What makes it wonderful is that I could integrate my photo-whoring tendencies into what shall I call it, my Hunt!
My first Small Cache! I found tucked at some discreet place in SG. The satisfaction derived from it is just surreal. I'm not gonna even attempt to word out the sheer motivation you'd be struck with after that first discovery. It's like, you then thirst for more. Insane. :) And so we search for planted caches around and when we find it, we log our identity on it and for me theres an additional step to that... We take Happy Pictures~ There'll be more of this. Also, another event I've added to my to-do list, walking back home from central Singapore. :) Dun laff la...I'll do it dammit!
We found this abandon building along the Singapore River. It was in my favourite colour. So how can I resist a shot.
Anyways (yes I am acting cute, so sue me!), today has made me a happier person.
BTW, my sudden burst of anger is a direct effect of reading random tweets in tweetland. I've gathered that people are just blatantly rude and some things just should be filtered before it reaches other people. From potential combustion of black people (sic) to how some people feel that bimbos have no right to tag their tweets with #sgelections because really only these creme de la creme of the academic world have the right to do so. Now, its been a while since I last said this but with all seriousness...Fuck you!
I shall avoid that place. Probably in a matter of time, I'll ditch it along with where my Facebook account is at.
I've said enough. I'm out! ;)
¶ 8:57 PM 0 Comments
Monday, May 02, 2011
Sit and stare
Most of the time, I'd snap into sleep-mode and waste my life away. This ailment is seriously spinning out of control. It devours a good chunk of my life and I'm usually left with so little time to fulfill my everyday commitments. I'm still searching for ways to mitigate the current status quo where sleep dominates it. It is not as though I planned for it to happen, it's just that, it happens whether I like it or not. Perhaps, its because my dreams seem more attractive than my reality. *shrugs* Whatever the cause may be, I need to snuff it out.
1st goal: To break up with my sleep.
With that out, I shall move on to other current stuff. Like perhaps the news that Osama has been killed. I do not know how credible that is, coz seriously there are so many ppl out there (in the afghan region) who actually look like this fellar. So how true is this? I'm not willing to bet my last penny on it. It got me wondering though, with his very untimely death, would that rile his people up? Would they then me galvanised to blitzkrieg their way across places known to have US citizens in sheer retaliation? Would they plan another vicious attack on touristy places say, Bali for instance? God forbid! Coz I've already booked my flight and hotel to Bali for my coming June vacation! Argh. Untimely indeed. Now I'll just have to sit and pray for goodness and forgiveness to fill the hearts of these terrorists...
The SG election is up in like 5 days. It's been one of the most dramatic pre-elections I have ever encountered. Not that I've encountered many. But still, you get the drift. With only one GRC getting a walkover, the other 14 GRCs and 12 SMCs are fighting for their place in the parliament, it doesn't get any more interesting. And guess what, I get to vote! Yes, a virgin voter. I love that status quo. Rallies were never this exciting. People start questioning, like they never did. People start wearing colours other than white. People start brandishing objects that are far more tangible than a bolt of lighting. People start yelling and chanting names of political parties that don't sound obscene when placed before the word 'smear'. People are finally talking. But will they walk the talk? We'll know in 5 days...
As for me, I know SDA's not getting my vote. They haven't impressed me at all. It would be different though, if I lived in Nee Soon or Aljunied or Hougang or...the list goes on. ;)
"Justice is served, the head of al-Qaeda is dead."
Just saw this on twitter. Couldn't help but shake my head in despair. Seriously, justice is served? What about the death toll from the stupid military strategies put in place by our dear Bushy Bush. Shouldn't he pay for the lives taken in his battle of pride too?
An eye for an eye and everybody's left blind.
¶ 1:01 PM 0 Comments
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Howdy there, I'm still here.
Yes I am. (Un)Fortunately, I am not dead yet. Apparently work and condescending words do not kill. I thought they would, hell I wished they would. I am down to the last three-quarters of the year. Thats what I call optimism. Life has been a whole heap of unhappiness, actually work has been that. However, those tiny moments when I could muster the discipline to ditch the thought of work, those seemed more blissful than it used to be. I guess the theory of relativity operates at its optimum level when work breathes down your neck. Nonetheless, the pain makes the joy sweeter. Does that make any sense at all? If it doesn't then it makes more sense, I'm battered.
¶ 11:01 PM 0 Comments
Nevermind me. I'm just dropping by to breathe some life into my intangible, therapeutic space. I'm still here and I still have my voice. :) I hope you people are in a better place. Hearts.
¶ 11:01 PM 0 Comments
Monday, January 17, 2011
Rant!
Someone should come up with a musical with that as the title. A neverending musical. 2010 came and went, I'm still where I was. Standing here in the pouring rain, waiting for that Royal carriage to come to a halt before me. With arms outstretched, the divine royal one then hurls me into his carriage and into the abyss of bliss, I fall, where happiness reigned for all eternity...
¶ 9:16 PM 0 Comments
Dream on.
2011 has been quite a pain, thus far. I am sure it's not about to get any better, but what can I do about it? Na da. Not a thing. No matter how hard I try, there is bound to be something or someone horrible that would crop up. Work, is my greatest worry this year. Work and not having enough fun. I have always been contented with the fact that I am able to not compromise my hedonistic wants yet, still be able to deliver the 'goods'. I am so afraid that the job I have signed myself to is about to stifle me. I find myself thinking about work, even on a beautiful Saturday morning. My weekends are spent contemplating the week's worth of work and what I shoulda/oughta/coulda done over the last weeks. This is bad. I am not going to even attempt to defend my actions. It is not what I would sincerely like to do. I used to enjoy the experience I get from teaching. My contract years left me smiling at the end of the day as I saw my kids out of the classroom doors with their homework and the days worth of learning all stashed in the bottom of their ginormous bags. "Goodbye, Have a NICE day", they would say. The 1pm bell rang and I smiled. My heart at ease, and I call it a day.
Gone were those days. The 1pm bell no longer had that soothing effect on me. It now serves as a painful reminder. The real work begins. The job prior to 1pm is still beautiful though. The kids, their antics, the constant nagging (mostly on my part), the occasional burst of exasperation (again, on my part), the cheeky pranks, the playtime, the mass silent reading, the exodus to the school canteen and the list goes on. I love these parts. Call me crazy, I even secretly love the mad race to the finishing line of the week's worth of syllabus. It is fun. However, the very moment I hear the 1pm bell, my heart sinks. For it is time I become an adult again. Working with adults, responding to adult demands, making adult choices.
And that is a snapshot of my 2011.
I have no other option but to rant here, just to keep my sanity in check. Of course, the power of visual aids should never be undermined as well. When the going gets tough, the tough watches porn, or anything empowered to bring a wet-panty moment. :)
Gambatte.
