Mundane Nothings

The waiting finally came to an end. Another batch of woes came gushing towards me. Sureties. I wasn't even sure what they meant before this. I needed two. There was no way I'm gonna rope in people who happen to share the same family name. I'd rather lick the ground I step on than go to them. So, I solicited the help of a couple of friends. I shall be forever grateful to them. I shall be at their disposal for as long as they need me. Claryce and Hidayah, you shall be in my will when I get one. Till then, think of a lavish place (halal) to dine at. I owe you guys much more than that, but thats a good start. :) I love you guys!

I have this bad unsettling feeling brewing in the pit of my tummy. Something bad is going to happen. I am not sure what exactly that may be. All i know is that there is this storm of darkness, waiting for the precise moment, to be unleashed and let loose. Destructive. Annihilating everything I started constructing. Merciless. It is heading my way. I can smell it in the air. Ayudarme!

Walking out and into that ominously lit tunnel. Others call it the corridor leading to the classrooms. A gloomy tunnel it sure is, to me. I stumbled upon a mess of souls, participating in some incessant diatribe. So insignificant it was, as it hovers back and forth over a midget whose work did not past satisfactory. There were shrilly yells that pierced my ears and evoked certain unaccustomed reactions. I had to gnaw my lower lip to keep the arms in control. It wasn't the midget who was contributing to the din. The midget's guardian was the harbinger of that noise. Some day, you'll reap what you sow. In order to step into the future, you need to step out of the past . That should help with the whole longing to live in the present vibe.

The uncertainty is flipping me inside out. Being at the edge, day in, day out, isn't quite what i was expecting. There is only so much I can take without relinquishing my entire grasp on whats left of that thing called sanity. No one to turn to, no where to head for, for answers. What tough luck. Flushed through by a swarm of regretful woes. Decisions that could have been better made beckon for me with heads hung low. I could have done more. Could I, really? So this is how it feels like to be stuck in a corner with floorboards that could easily give way. Nothing to hold on to. Now I get it. I'm not after marriage, nor am I after a lucrative career. It is this intangible satisfaction that I'm ruthlessly hunting down. Sad to say, I'm not even a mile close to it. Robotic routines took me over and I'm riding on a path with no more crossroads. It all suddenly seem so meaningless. Achievable nothings. Mindless race of the restless. Empty crusades. I refuse to use the word...

Dear god, I've never been tickled this bad in like eons. Anyways, its been a while hasn't it? Even Sherlin has updated! Hehe. That speaks volume of my inactivity in this much becoming becoming obsolete blogsphere. Right. Loads happened. I was sad, and then snapped into depression and then i sniffed that whiff of happy spice and i became a tad happier. I sniffed even more and ta da...I'm ecstatic. That didn't emote the feelings I was hoping it would. Darn it, I'm losing my touch. Ok... Lets just put it this way, I'm sooo damn happy to be alive. After, for the first time in my life, I got to experience what it felt like to be moving in an opposite lane. Oh yes, fucking insane! A milestone in my life! I could pretty much still picture that very moment as it replays itself, over and over again. Something good came out of it though, apart from sweating my fats away, out of sheer fright, I'm finally fully inspired to get my own damn license. Yay. It'll be a ...