Mundane Nothings

It's beginning to hurt. I have like a week left to finish up all these bloody pieces of schmuck they call homework. I know, I could have started them at an earlier date, but I blatantly didn't want to. I just wanted to bask, carelessly in the moment. You know, watch the sunrise in my sleep coz I've become too much of a bum to rise any earlier than 12nn, pretend it is raining outside and snuggle deeper into the covers of my bed, allow bon jovi to serenade over the blaring sounds of my mother's nagging and eat in bed. That last one, I still have not fulfilled. I'm too traumatised by the prospect of having cockroaches scurry around my bed. But, all in good time. I wanna have breakfast in bed...someday. So yeah, I was saying... I didn't want to finish up my homework. Alas! I've no choice now, and not much time as well. Damn. And, worst thing is, I can't swear. Heh. It's part of the whole deal with the new year resolution. No swearing. Na da. Hope i coul...

I know, I know, Sg's had their own Mob Flash as well, but this particular one, in Belgium gave me goosebumps that last longer. Yes, the goosebumps are a measure of how amazing these MOb Flashes can be. I long to be in one, someday... Yeah right. I'm too shy for it really, but it would be nice to stumble upon one, unsuspectingly. ;) Enjoy this bit.

In the light of hearing about possessed beings and wanton celestial activities, I am kicked into spiritual mode. And Kahlil Gibran's literary works come in handy at such a moment. Suddenly devoured by this huge gust of placid inspirational fiction. Lets bask in his words now, shall we... “ Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ” “ The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? ” "Woman… Was created from the rib of a Man, not from his head to be above him, not from his feet to be walked upon, but by his side to be equal, near to his arms to be protected, and closed to his heart to be loved…" “ I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to thos...

My mum used the word "cool" today, and not on the weather, mind you. She made a comment about a newly acquired hooded top. I stopped, gawked and asked her to repeat herself. The "cool" disappeared the second time around. I'm still baffled. My youngest sis and I got mum and dad to watch Russel Peters. My dad thinks he rocks. I always knew he did. Now, when we call daddy cheap, he'd admit it graciously. The little perks of being indian. :) I had so much to talk about, but when I logged in, the thoughts just gradually fade away. Thats so not fair. ...

A relapse. Its that time again, when I go head over heels over this guy and his comrades. Its insane. I know they are coming to town again, and this time, I am gonna be there. Hell yeah. I'll get there even if I have to skip a day of work. Damn. I would do anything to be in that massive crowd of people, screaming his lyrics out, along with him. It's gonna be phenomenal. I shall surrender to his orgasmic serenades! In the meantime, I shall try and fit all his lyrics into my head. Grrrr ~

It was sedating, at first. After a while, I became numb to the ever changing variable around me. Only the stagnant subjects remained in my sight. It was ... peaceful. I loved it. It has been a while since I last felt this blissful. I want to do this more often. Today, I discovered the existence of a place called Ann Siang Park... I never knew it existed, till like today. "In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbow and poop butterflies..." -Go watch Horton. So cute, I wanna live in that world too. And I'd like my very own garden with a turquoise fountain! All in good time huh.

That's it. Walk on by. There is no need to stop and wait and anticipate for something amazing to pop itself out at the most unsuspecting moment. Sometimes, when things don't go our way, we oughta just walk on by. I'm going for a long walk...

If only everything came in just one colour...the same benign colour white-washing the entire landscape of our being. Only shapes and sizes would matter. We'd need to feel and touch and scrutinize beyond just the surface of its existence. We'd need to taste and smell our way around. Wouldn't that be nice? I'd be blue and you'd be blue and they'd be blue. We'd all bask under the blue blue sky and slurp blue mock tails and have scoops of blueberry ice-cream in a blue wafer cone. I'd look into your blue eyes and together we'd build blue sandcastles in the air. We are all blue and that's all that matters. No figures or numbers or materialistic credentials to sustain. If only...

Finally. It was D day. The much awaited paintball session finally manifested itself today. I had an awesome time with these newly found bunch. I couldn't thank them enough for making my day. Hell, probably my week ey . A beautiful shot of fun to my oh-so mundane holiday. :) I was actually decked in that thing they call the number 4, from head to toe, cause it was supposed to cushion the blow from each shot. But guess what, I didn't get any body shots...(except for the one behind, which was what they call a friendly fire, thanks Azlinda !) Instead, the only injury I sustained was on my knee, no thanks to an unnecessary, self-induced slide. Uncalled for. Actually that was totally a result of the pre -game video that the guys showed on the screen at the briefing area. I guess it was meant to amp your spirits and you know, psyche you. Amped and psyched me up big time, it sure did! Nonetheless, it was worth all the pain! Fairuz , thanks for setting all this up for us! (Damn, I'm...

My new year resolution always comes in a wee bit earlier than the rest. I'm gonna promulgate to the whole world (assuming the world reads my blog, that is), I have managed to keep to my current new year resolution! Hurrah! Well done. Santa, did you read that? Now, get your act together and get me the 1st present on my list k? Anyways, me being me, I've spent my idling mode brooding over a worthy resolution for the coming year. And voila, I finally got it! "To be less hell-bound" Simple. And it says it all. No smoking or drinking or gossiping ( a lil is fine though, keeps insanity out of the way) or missing prayers or talking back to the elders or taking drugs or fighting with the neighbourhood thugs or setting fire to my mum's plants or breaking the vases at home while vacuuming the place or not drying the laundry or keeping my room in a state of pandemonium or letting my friends wait on me or eating too slowly that it troubles people around me or taking out my r...

Yeah. For real. Finally got down to reading Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. Hmm... I couldn't quite lucidly word out the feelings this book evoked, but it leaves me feeling rather unsettled, for some weird reason. Odd. I mean, I understand the twist people were promulgating about. But the twist manifested itself like mid way through the book and the mystery, directly reflected by the title of the book is solved, also mid-way through the book. Normally, that would have irked me, but not this book. I stayed on with it till the end. The ending I would say, beautifully fades itself out. Its not mind blowing though. It leaves you thinking and appreciating mathematics and logic a whole lot more. It would probably also get you to see autism in a different light altogether. Not as profound as the aftermath of reading The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. That was phenomenal. It sits with you for the next couple of weeks. The six people the lit...

I can't believe I missed War on Wheels. Damn it. Anyways, heres a list of museums in Singapore, apart from many others, I'll bet. See, I told ya we had more than merely 4 museums. Pffrttt... Army Museum of Singapore Art Retreat Museum Asian Civilisations Museum Baba House HealthZone ...

School's finally taking the backseat as the holidays start streaming in. It feels weird. Its too good to be true. I've literally got nothing breathing down my neck, no pressing datelines, no pesky tutors asking for another pot of gold from the dragon's lair, no annoying juveniles and their unearthly demands...Na da ! Life, currently, is so good it feels like it should be made illegal. This is sooo wrong. I mean, its something I could surely get used to, and that essentially makes up the bulk of my worries. Impending worries rather. I am basking in my status quo like no other. The idling period i call it. I love it. Love it to bits and I wish for it to never cease. I know...unlikely...but one can only wish for something like that. I got so used to waking up at 5 every morning and just going about the routines, that these idling period got me running out of my house at 5 just to clock in a few rounds at the park. Don't ask. I'm getting fatter, in case you haven'...

Personality Type Report Your Personality Preferences INTROVERT While you may not be anti-social, you do need (and deserve) your private time and space to retreat from the world. Unlike extroverts, you need to develop a concept of the world or some aspect of it before experiencing it. Too much socializing may sap your energies. Your energies are derived from exploring the inner world of ideas, impressions and pure thought. INTUITIVE While you do process information through your senses you add a twist to your processing by relying on intuition and serendipity. You look for undercurrents of meaning and abstractions in what you experience physically. You do not just see things just as they are, but as what they could be. While you may rely on common sense at times, you trust inspiration far more. JUDGING You like decisions to be made as soon as possible. You are not comfortable with loose ends and like to ...

Oh yes. The relapse. Thats what I call it coz it comes and goes as it will. It leaves you feeling insanely empty. Insane being the operative word. You start questioning your very existence. Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Is this going to keep me happy? Why are they here? Why are you here? Who are these people? Are they here for good? Will I ever be able keep my smile up? Is this really what I want to live my life for? What is wrong with me? What is not wrong with me? ...and I'd just keep the questions going.... The problem is, there are just too many answers. And I'm not used to that. I was brought up to only appreciate the presence of dichotomous responses, and only that. It is either a yes or a no. Black or white. True or false. Right or left. Correct or wrong. Up or down. Here or there. There is no maybe, perhaps, considering that and this...The many possibilities just messes things up. Its not supposed to be like that. Its supposed to be plain and simple. Love and hate...

I thought that the Construction Industry was where blatantly rude people who are devoid of any basic manners converge. I was so wrong... How can anyone in the right frame of mind be swinging unjustified attacks one moment and then smiling at you by the time the minute ends? How can anyone be so paranoid about everything around her and then come into class hurling accusations that again, are unjustified? I didn't think I'd be in NIE to be scolded till my ears bleed. Hell, I didn't know I had an attitude problem until like yesterday, ha...and I wasn't there early enough to hear it for myself. Perhaps my punctuality is an issue, but its not like I am perpetually late. I should have just puked my heart out in class, maybe then it would drive my point, why exactly I was late. Took a fucking cab to school for Christ' sake! I should have just reported sick. Fuck! I don't fucking get it. I have a presentation this coming Friday and I know for sure I'm gonna get hel...

My head is throbbing and so is my heart. Not in a good way. How can you mend a broken heart? I speak in all its literal sense. It hurts. I need a vacation. I need a major vacation that requires me to gyrate mindlessly to the unmelodious thumpings of the electronic beats. Fast losing my sanity. *crys out to the sleeping gods in heaven* Ayudarme!

I feel entirely deprived. The reigns to MY life are held my them...The muthafuckers who made a mistake bringing me out here. Oh how I wish I could turn back time and not be churned out into this horrid place they call the world. Oppression and sheer control. Should I end it?

It feels empty, again. The all too familiar feeling.

Writing a reflection on Mathematics Problem SOlving. It took me a good hour and a whole lot of staring through my screen before I could actually spit out a word or two to get the damn thing started.And that was pretty much how it went. A word or two every hour. Thats rate right? *rolls eyes* Whatever. Sometimes, when time seems to come to a standstill and everything around me starts pretending to stop, I'd question myself, wait I'd 'NG' myself and wonder if I'd done myself a favour or is this really the first step to damnation. Stress got the best of me. I finally got to shaving the right side of my head. Ha! Take that!

I wanna do so many things right now. One of it is to not merely deactivate my facebook account, really, I just wanna shut it down and dispose it off. I need a can of redbull. I want to climb to the top of the esplanade and scream my lungs out. Hell, I wanna curse at that damn Merlion from up there till it churns out blood instead, or sewage water. Whatever works. I wanna pretend that everyone can be screwed and unscrewed. And that marriage is just a fashion fad. It'll fade off after the wedding gown comes off and that it is just an excuse for people to get cheap deals for luxury travel. I wanna pretend that the world is a happy place and that kids still run down the streets with a lolly between their teeth. I wanna pretend that I know what is going to happen tomorrow and that I planned it to be as perfect as it will turn out to be. I wanna pretend that I live a couple hundred of meters from the pristine blue sea and that my greatest indulgence is the liberty to skinny-dip anytime ...

7. Hedonist Hedonists are energetic, optimistic and dynamic; their appearance is full of optimism and happiness. They are spontaneous and full of fantasy, but sometimes they're impulsive and naive; they avoid pain and have opposite feelings at committing. They have a lot of persuasiveness. RELATIONSHIPS: Family and friendship is very important to you. Relationships are based on pleasure. You can be a loyal, helpful and stimulating lover, if you have experienced your own priorities. It's difficult for you to have only one lover. You also can't believe anyone would want to commit with you. FIXATION: planning VICE: unlimitedness VIRTUE: sobriety PROFESSIONS: a lot of jobs at the same time; a free, unruly profession

It's that typical time of the year again...When i suddenly descend into that dark crevasse of dejection. It's like menopause or should I say cyclical menopause. It doesn't go away. Hell, the bleeding doesn't stop. Just one of those moments. I need to stop and look around. I need to breathe and smell the damn waft of coffee in the air. I stopped and looked around, only to find shadows wheezing by. I tried to breathe, but the pungent stench in the air choked me. I searched for the butterflies that usually keep the smile on my face, but they were still pupating. Whats the world coming to? Crying Lady of Gretna Green

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore' de Balzac (1799-1850) Happy Birthday Mummy! ------------------------------------

My head is starting to throb again. That ominous throb. So symptomatic of what gloominess that's lying ahead. I realised how my stomach could growl so startlingly loud at the oddest time of the day. Like, in a really silent lecture hall and in the intermittent pauses of my tutorials. Buggeration. I'm attending a church wedding on the morrow. Really excited. I think I'm gonna shed some tear though. Hell, I know I'm gonna bawl at some point. Marriages tug at my heartstrings. So do childbirths and birthdays and deaths and departures and arrivals and unions and separations and...ok i should stop. Sucker for romance. Ok, my mind's blocked. I'm out.

Create a concept map of a unit with at least 15 linked concepts. Hand in your concept map the next tutorial. Where do i even start?

Not in the mood for words now, am I? Heh. The family. My favourite. The scent of the past lingers. Can you smell that? Inspired by one of them old school photos I spotted in Mummy's album. Happy Eid everyone! We can now chomp like there's no tomorrow!

Now, this is what I'm talking about. Ain't it just sweet? SPG dream boy indeed. He code-switches like nobody's business sial! I loike.

This is why I say we should repeal 377A. If we do just that, we can have a scene like this taken at the rocky shores of Pulau Ubin. Hot, sweaty, gay lads with chiselled torso, bearing the Gay Pride flag. Its like realizing my deepest orgasmic fantasy! My glasshouse can then be given a place in reality. Well, Pulau Ubin isn't too bad a start aye. Maybe after they get that flag erected, they can get other things erected too. Oh thrash, I think its the hour!

I've lost my mojo. I used to be fun, now I'm just a severe brooder with frown lines that are deepening as the weeks pass. I've forgotten how it feels to laugh till my tummy aches. I've forgotten how to laugh manically at people on the train. I've forgotten how to do work at the very last minute and still manage to smile my way back to school. I've forgotten how to fail big and still stick around just cause I could. I've forgotten how to be me! This isn't fun at all. I need to snap out of this wanton worry-mode that sets those pimples popping. I need to eat chocolate like there's no tomorrow. I need to lay at the beach and let the sun devour me. I need to do silly things and not worry about the fucking consequences. I need to scream at the wind. I need to jump on my bed in my undies and let the world know I'm still alive. I need ice cream...and friends...and love...and sisters...and... I need a break.

My god. I could feel my brain juices just drying up. Seriously. I've never had to read so much of those uninteresting concoction of words. Anyways, another one down, and many more to go!

My sanity is gradually taking flight. I can feel its departure. It doesn't help that I need to get things done with a very grouchy tummy, rumbling in the background. It fucking sucks. I know I sound like some punk -ass adolescent kid right now, but this mighty angst building up in the pit of my very deprived tummy needs to be sublimated. Breathing and counting just doesn't cut it anymore. Argh ! I want to scream.

My neighbour's dog is barking incessantly. It is inducing this massive headache. Its been an hour, and he hasn't stopped. Today, I realise how inept I am, when it comes to handling a very traditional piece of pointer. No laser pointer, just the traditional extend-able metal pointer. I was supposed to read and glide the damn pointer under the words i was reading. Like how difficult could that be? Yah! I was so wrong. I have the tendency to whack the the words on the Big Book instead of gliding the pointer ever so gracefully. Oh man, its gonna be a long arduous journey out of this place I'm at. Fasting, doesnt feel the same at all. Whats happening?

My class... Despite the pressing deadlines that are storming our way, we still have time to count make believe sheep. Heh.

The reading went ok. I shook, with the book in my hands, but it could have gone worse...just so glad I made it through, without much damage to my pride and sanity. I'm exhausted. I havent felt like this in ages. Its like my body wants to move but it is devoid of any strength to do so. My eyelids weigh a tonne and there is no room for self control. I had science tutorial today....and I knew I just had too much when the innocent family tree looked like some planned attack for the next orgy rampage. I must tahan!

School work is pounding on me. They emphasise so much on the need to reflect. I'm reflecting, now. Tomorrow shall be my turn to read a book to the class. I have chosen to read a book called 'The Curious Garden" by Peter Browne. Why? Well, for starters, I'm a nature lover. I thrive in the greens around me. All for sustainability and permaculture! Hence, the book. I love the fact that such an abstract notion like the detriments of urbanisation is portrayed in the book. It is chopped into bite-sized portions so children can relate to it. Liam, the red head in the book learnt to care for the little plants who were struggling to survive. The plants were made so life-like that they too could wait patiently for Liam, as he gradually built on his gardening skills. Heart warming book with a beautiful message embedded in it. Children's literature really isn't all that dry. You guys should go read 'The Missing Piece' by Shel Silverstein. Makes my heart skip a beat...

If I hope against all hope, I think it can. I'm in need of that jolt of joy. Strained.

I love this picture and i heart the people in it. School has been a drag. A serious drag. A drag I'm in no power to stop. Its long, stinky and infested with rodents. Huge, noisy, hard-staring rodents. Rodents who wouldn't go away even if you leave rat-poison around. Two weeks through and I'm already jaded. I get upset ever so easily and I instantly snap into my dreamy mode. Fuck, Its so fucking HOT! What is up with the weather, seriously? I digress. My braces are off and it leaves me feeling, oddly naked. The retainers are a chore, but I wear them religiously coz they make my teeth look ultra perfect and whiter than it actually is. By the way, I failed my grammar test, so did the rest of the cohort. I am still laughing right now, as I think about it. Its really silly. They should have already expected all that, why make us sit for a test like that? Hmm I was talking about my teeth and suddenly grammar infiltrated my thoughts. Bleah. Everyone is a hypocrite. Its inevitable. ...

Social distancing people! Social Bloody distancing! Oh for the love of god! Spare me... Michael Jackson died. Now, what do I do?

I'm getting a whole lot of that. Meaningless. Unpromising. Raw mundanities. Whatever. I'm beyond all this. I really couldn't care less anymore. I think Adrian Pang can really act and I love Red Thread. Hmm, the local acts are getting better i tell ya. Adrian's crying scene was really overwhelming as it tugs at my heartstrings. Haiz I just wanted to bawl my eyes out as I thought about how painful it must be, to silently take in the conversation one just had with the mother who longs to see you and you can't reveal yourself no matter how much you would want to embrace that woman before you. I really wanted to cry...well in such situations, i usually just give in to my tears. But when I looked up, I saw the flashing green light and realised I was on the damn bus. Can you imagine how twisted it would have been if I had actually bawled on the bus? Ha! Pathetic. Anyways, turning 24 has brought nothing but misery. All these miseries somehow revolves around my being singl...

The cramps are getting relentless, lasting more than 2 days. After the second hour of unabated pain, I was convinced my death was inevitable. Alas, 3 days later, here I am, running on empty and fending off the weak remnants of their attack. Its still there, but I can sit on them. Heh . My KL trip was...well...good enough. It could have been better, if divine specimens could be wantonly littered on the streets. But it was good, nonetheless. In that five days, I essentially had the most fun keeping records of worthy dudes whose faces I stumbled upon as we meander through the bustling retail outlets. You know, when I plot their numbers out, I actually got a bell curve! Heh . Normal distribution. Nothing normal about NOT encountering that much yummylicious bites in my very own country. Damn all this. I'm getting really used to the bite plate. I think I could spit in the eye of that bastard of a taxi driver and blame it on my bite plate.

I signed, she signed, they signed we signed. Yay . Another phase waits. I'm having strange dreams. Dreams of the past. Of what could have happened. Of destroyed solitude. Of intimacy that goes beyond the capacity of my waking moments. Of delusions that has the same touch as reality. Of course...they are mere dreams... So why harp on it. But a part of me longs for it to manifest itself in my real world, no matter how tiny that may be. I want those things to happen but I've long deleted that mechanism of hope in me. I do not hope. I just can't, after the immense downfall that perpetually repeats itself. It's tiring, never ending and useless. I hope no more, yet I want reality to take the course of my dreams. Heh . *from a distance* What the hell am I mem - bebel - ing * about? * that means rambling incessantly ;)

The waiting finally came to an end. Another batch of woes came gushing towards me. Sureties. I wasn't even sure what they meant before this. I needed two. There was no way I'm gonna rope in people who happen to share the same family name. I'd rather lick the ground I step on than go to them. So, I solicited the help of a couple of friends. I shall be forever grateful to them. I shall be at their disposal for as long as they need me. Claryce and Hidayah, you shall be in my will when I get one. Till then, think of a lavish place (halal) to dine at. I owe you guys much more than that, but thats a good start. :) I love you guys!

I have this bad unsettling feeling brewing in the pit of my tummy. Something bad is going to happen. I am not sure what exactly that may be. All i know is that there is this storm of darkness, waiting for the precise moment, to be unleashed and let loose. Destructive. Annihilating everything I started constructing. Merciless. It is heading my way. I can smell it in the air. Ayudarme!

Walking out and into that ominously lit tunnel. Others call it the corridor leading to the classrooms. A gloomy tunnel it sure is, to me. I stumbled upon a mess of souls, participating in some incessant diatribe. So insignificant it was, as it hovers back and forth over a midget whose work did not past satisfactory. There were shrilly yells that pierced my ears and evoked certain unaccustomed reactions. I had to gnaw my lower lip to keep the arms in control. It wasn't the midget who was contributing to the din. The midget's guardian was the harbinger of that noise. Some day, you'll reap what you sow. In order to step into the future, you need to step out of the past . That should help with the whole longing to live in the present vibe.

The uncertainty is flipping me inside out. Being at the edge, day in, day out, isn't quite what i was expecting. There is only so much I can take without relinquishing my entire grasp on whats left of that thing called sanity. No one to turn to, no where to head for, for answers. What tough luck. Flushed through by a swarm of regretful woes. Decisions that could have been better made beckon for me with heads hung low. I could have done more. Could I, really? So this is how it feels like to be stuck in a corner with floorboards that could easily give way. Nothing to hold on to. Now I get it. I'm not after marriage, nor am I after a lucrative career. It is this intangible satisfaction that I'm ruthlessly hunting down. Sad to say, I'm not even a mile close to it. Robotic routines took me over and I'm riding on a path with no more crossroads. It all suddenly seem so meaningless. Achievable nothings. Mindless race of the restless. Empty crusades. I refuse to use the word...

Dear god, I've never been tickled this bad in like eons. Anyways, its been a while hasn't it? Even Sherlin has updated! Hehe. That speaks volume of my inactivity in this much becoming becoming obsolete blogsphere. Right. Loads happened. I was sad, and then snapped into depression and then i sniffed that whiff of happy spice and i became a tad happier. I sniffed even more and ta da...I'm ecstatic. That didn't emote the feelings I was hoping it would. Darn it, I'm losing my touch. Ok... Lets just put it this way, I'm sooo damn happy to be alive. After, for the first time in my life, I got to experience what it felt like to be moving in an opposite lane. Oh yes, fucking insane! A milestone in my life! I could pretty much still picture that very moment as it replays itself, over and over again. Something good came out of it though, apart from sweating my fats away, out of sheer fright, I'm finally fully inspired to get my own damn license. Yay. It'll be a ...

Breathless as can be. That was after all, the first full marathon I had ever been in. My entire journey was filled with the resounding question resonating in my every breath. "What was I thinking? A marathon?" Some things can only be done once. This was one of it. If he hadn't cajoled me into it, I wouldn't have barged. Sweet talker. The mere thought of his droning voice spurred me on. I had to finish the battle I impulsively started. Was it really impulsive? Or was it actually the easy sublimation of the restless heart. I could hear his heart beating as he pants effortlessly beside me. Nudging me forth when my legs slump back. Muttering those tiny words of encouragement, half of which I couldn't quite make out in the heat of the mighty morning sun. Drenched in my own torrid sweat, everything around me was a blur. His voice was no exception. In that hazy exhaustion, I could still visualise the straining physique beneath that sweat-drenched dry-fit that was spurrin...

Oowwww... Stuck in the head: THE TEMPTATIONS - PAPA WAS A ROLLING STONE Ok, back to reality. This week, though it hasn't yet ended, is by far the most exhausting week I've ever had to endure. I think it's probably a matter of relativity. Yeah, no thanks to a luxurious respite. We headed to some ulu Butterfly Lodge today. There were too many horny butterflies around. They were carelessly screwing each other, oblivious to shrill voices of the little ones. Shameless. I don't like butterflies anymore. Ostentatious creatures. I'm so sick of waiting. I'm so happy to see Claryce's update! I hope those vicious ulcers disappear soon. :) Rest well k?

I have seen things that could not be erased. They levitate and circle freely round my head. I like them. The bitter potion of my medicine I call them. Appearing at random times, they feed me directions.

Haha. What's worse than being thrashed on home ground? Erm, nothing! 1-4 baby! Take that devils! Muahahahha. That aside, I'm still wondering how Arsenal is still holding on to its place within the Champion League and the FA club... I don't get them. Haiz, but I'm behind them nonetheless. Baxia!

It does. I am still clueless though, about what I should do to overcome it. I am not gonna let a pair of shoes that cost me what i could pay for all my shoes in the storeroom, to just wither and go to waste. Yeah, that much. It has got to fulfill its end of the bargain man. This ain't fair! I was already planning to wear them for the wedding this Sunday. Pfffrrt. So you gotta behave and start cooperating. It's funny how things usually turn out the way I'd least expect it to be. There exist this very innate equilibrium in life, really. When the pages of our lives are crinkled up, and we've attempted to straighten it out, and it's successfully uncrinkled, another page would crease up. That's just a fact of life. What we, mere mortals can do is to seriously bask in the good, uncrinkled times and fully soak ourselves in that temporary period of almost heavenly bliss. Coz ultimately, that moment, is about as close as you'd get to embracing happiness. That fleetin...

There is just too much of them weeds. Little kids with premature hormones. Revoltingly distasteful. One of my caterpillar turned white. Its supposed to change into a pupa, which is suppose to suspend itself and hang there till the butterfly decides to pop out. My white pupa is slumped at the bottom of the incubating container. WTh right? I just don't get it. Things never turn out normal when it comes to me... I should have known. Omo! Omo! Now what do we have here? A fellow arsenal fan! Everybody now, hip hip, hooray!!! *Does a do-see-doh around HJ* Yummy yum yum. God I'm high! I would never date a Suit. I'll however make an exception if he's a korean. My goodness, korean guys in suits.... leaves me slobbering for more. More, more..... MORE!

The wonders of having parents. One minute they are sane. The next minute, insanity sets in. To hell with them. I'm agitated. Very much so, and I can't do shit about it. Its like this humongous clock in me, ticking away, just ticking oh so recklessly and I can't reach for it, to snap it out of its ticking. Now it's beeping away, coz it knows I'm bitching about it. Buggeration. There is no remedy to this restlessness, is there? Lets move on to something lighter. My kids today werejust amazingly cute. For a moment there, I thought I was on the set of Barney & Friends and that purple beast was gonna spring out just in time for the birthday song. Alas, that didn't happen. Heh. Anyways, one of my students was having a birthday today and so the classmates told me about it, knowing that I'll make them start singing him a song. Well, they had the luxury of having the birthday boy in the toilet while speaking to me. So all they needed was one smart Alec who so bra...

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break." - an ancient Chinese belief Wheres my akai ito?

I could have done more. I could have stretched them further. There's just so much potential in them, waiting to be sowed. I can't just sit and watch them wilt away. I could do something. I must nudge them. I will wake them up from this useless slumber they are in.

Im so enraged right now, its beyond words could describe. Let me fill you in a little on what I had to put up with a couple of hours ago. Winds everything back... The laptop closes and I walk, backwards, all the way to the now opened doors and gates. Slipping my left foot into the ipanemas, then the right one. And we now, back pedal all the way to the opened lift. Sister in tow, and we are back at the front of that fucking shop. Oh yes a corner store that apparently sells stationeries and provides photocopying services. They offer stamp making services too, which was what i was after. I told that reluctant sales-bitch behind the counter that I would like a stamp with 'Parents have noted student's work' and a fucking dotted line beneath that so parents could sign and acknowledge. I mean thats the very essence of wanting a customised stamp right? You'd want something on it that won't be readily available in the market. This, now transformed into a slut of a fucken wom...

The most hated excuse thus far..."I am confused..." *wailing crickets cry in the background* Seriously? I need to ramble. There is just so many things on my head, oh yea, its ON. Can you imagine the the balancing act I need to blatantly conjure up. Ruthless. Anyways, time flies rather quickly. Rather, I say, coz it sure was faster last year. Its like the big bad Ox this year got so fat and it couldn't move any faster. Bugger. Right, and my point was, in the process of watching the sun set and rise oh so mundanely, with every turn of the clock, I began to take notice of the people around me. Not that I was that ignorant before all that, its just that, they tend to become more noticeable as they gyrate in their routines against the background of that ominously ticking clock. (If you understood that, good on ya, if you find that confusing , Hallelujah! I'm back!) Its so hard to get straight to my point. Thats the problem I have with this new found freedom, blogging th...

Iran 6 Singapore 0 It doesn't get any better. Oh, what was it again? We are erm ... planning to compete in the World Cup? Right. Dream on. Oh wait. You know, that could possibly happen. really. The only way Singapore would ever get into the world cup is when we get colonialise by the brits again. -_- Fucking dream on. Seriously.

Seriously. I am speechless. Did I just see Garver , in person? Yes I did. Did my sis just take a picture with Garver ? Yes she did. Oh my god! Its real. I won't post her pics here though. Hehe. I don't wanna burst her bubble of bliss. The 1st ever Tattoo Convention held in Singapore this year is just nothing short of amazing. Its like something I've never quite expected it to ever be! Its like an open tattoo parlour where you could stroll in and out of a tattoo session and theres more, you are allowed to take as many pictures as you want. With whoever you want to! Dear god! And tattoo artists around the world converges at this point. Which means, hawt guys, sunshines ! Muahahahhaha ! I gotta be honest. When i first strolled out of the MRT station at Expo, I was actually greeted by a mass of tattoo clad people hailing from every corner of the earth. It was pretty daunting at first, rather foreign. After a while of being thoroughly towered over by these inked being, I felt...