Mundane Nothings

I can't feel my legs anymore. Apart from the bruises I've inherited overnight, no thanks to that bike falling incident, I now have an addition of numbness and aches. Well, fault me for wanting to walk from bugis to Suntec City. Personally, if i were given a chance, I'd go through all that pain again. Heh. There they were, chatting at the other side of the street. All bald, tan, hawter that the damn weather. Grrrrr. "Check out the troop at 8 O'clock!" I motioned to my sis. And she instantly exclaimed, "Oh my LORD!" Hhahaha. I love Arab Street. Always. ALWAYS. We were headed for Taman Warisan, they had some traditional food fest today. Hehe, so there we were, hanging around and sampling food. Before we realised it, They were there too. Damn, that green lad was friggen hot. Ok, so shutters shut and flashes flashed and my sis very accidentally caught one of the dude on camera. Now isnt that just a sweet souvenir. *smiles* I cant wait to get back to schoo...

I should just learn to trust more of these innately sudden feelings. I went cycling today, most reluctantly so. True enough the sheer reluctance was actually a futile attempt to save me from humiliation. Well, i walked right true it. I was cycling and I lost control while trying to avoid a family of fuckers. YEs. I hate kids. MOtherfucking useless suckers. Like their parents too. Silly old goose going at a snails' pace and did nothing but hog the entire fucking cuclying path. Thank god its hungry ghosts' month. SO now i fucking hope some hungry ghost satisfies his hunger by eating all four of u arses. God, I'm so friggen pissed. What made it really worse was that, there i was lying helplessly entangled to my damn bike, they just exclaimed and rode off. Suddenly at a not-so-snails pace. Bastards! Thats where kids become brats. They take after their parents. For the record, I think Singapore yields the lousiest parents in the entire world. No, this is NOT a manifestation of a...

I see nothing. The thoughts seem clear, but really its a delusion covering up for utter emptiness. Monochrome seem to be the world i live in. Surrounded with either only black or white. Thick lines of different degree of boldness motions around me. I see them clearly, but i know not what they are, who they are or why they're there. I used to care. I used to be a tad more empathetic than i am now. I knew something was amiss when i sensed no sympathy whatsoever for a cat who got itself stranded on the roof. Truth be told, I slept my way through the night anticipating the sight of a bloody mess at the ground level the following morning. My alone time, used to be a timeout i take to condition my mind. Programme it to think not only for its own good but also for the good of others. To never hurt others nor disregard their needs. Now, i just couldnt give a damn. Alone times are now moments when my brain activity comes to a complete standstill. I shut my eyes and along with that, everythi...

Yeah. Been a while. Couldn't quite decipher how i'm feeling now. I told my mum about a turkish friend i have. She seemed astonishingly calm about it. So strange. I'm not quite sure if she'd told my dad about him, but, everyone seems pretty fine about it. Then somehow i feel we are probably not ever gonna last, its just like a passing fad. After a while everything else ends, staleness takes over and i'm going to be back to my lonely self. We'll wait and see. So... my parents have been surprisingly vocal about their future son-in-laws. They want a son-in-law who drives a huge truck/lorry/van, coz that would greatly facilitate our weekend outings to the beach. They voice their sheer anticipation of being able to lug an entire living room to the grounds of the sandy beaches in the near future. What the hell right? Well, I'm always the first to admit that I'm NOT going to be the one with that hubby. My second sister however, seems to welcome the idea with arm...

hmm. I feel good today, coz i gave up my seat to a pregnant lady on the train. I'm all smiles. Well guess what, I have to wait for another 12 days for that gift coz apparently it got sent back to its sender. Yeah, its beginning to manifest itself hasn't it, men's incompetence. Bleargh. He friggen left out my unit number! Like dude, how could you have forgotten that? You know theres this word they have in malay, its called 'Pasrah'. Yeah, I'm that. Aku pasrah menghadapi apa saja keadaan yang menungguku di hujung perjalanan ini. For those who do not understand that, move on... Anyways, I got myself a pair of green coloured contact lenses. Ok, so perhaps i've had contact lenses before this, during my jc years. The difference this time around is that, I bought it without even consulting my parents. I've never done anything like that before, errr, ok, maybe not never. Actually if you disregard the times I pierced my tongue, hung out at the CBD after school, w...

Ok. I had a dream. That one day, when someone woke up from a nights sleep, and i happened to be standing by his bedside, smiling away. He then told me, "Ewe, you are ugly!" Yes. Strangely, in the dream, I walked away from the bed and slept for an entire month. Yeah, a month. What kind of screwed up dream is that? Like knowing I'm ugly isn't bad enough, this bloody conscience of mine had to clock in extra time and steal precious moments from my dreams just to reiterate how ugly I am. How fucking typical! Like it or not, it actually left me feeling a little elevated from reality. I mean, it detaches me from my usual self for crying out loud. I am having serious difficulties living! THIS IS LIVING! yeah, finally DIDN'T get what that steven strait of a guy was yelling about. Damn all this, its just a freaking dream. Besides, half or should i say, MORE than half of my dreams ever come true. I do hope this passes soon. No one is in any position to call others ugly. No o...

Lonesome. The struggle of loneliness. This morning, I watched Brooke Shield on Oprah, ranting on and on about her postpartum depression. Listening to her made me wanna have a baby. If i was made to be alone, at least allow me to conceive a baby oh lord. Won't it be a total head turner to walk into the lecture teatre and seminar rooms in chiffon maternity wear. What a fashion statement! And no, this is NOT some kind of shot gun affair that ended up on the wrong side of sexual pleasure. This is a want, an aspiration to complete myself. Its a different perspective altogether. People sometimes need that extra push in life to prevent one from derailing. This part of the procedure can take many forms, some of which would include downing shots of vodka and getting dead drunk, hitting the gym every week, go for a long getawayor even having a baby, a run from reality and a jab of sanity for ones soul. It makes one complete. A baby being pushed out of me makes me complete... --- i know i kn...

It's been a while. World Cup came and went. It brought the champs out of Italy. I can't contend with that. They were excellent. Goodbye Zizou. It's sad to see you leave on an unpleasant note. But hey, u could only get what you asked for. So the next world cup would be held in South Africa. Another continent altogether and a whole new game to look out for. Speaking of which, my sis is already saving up for a trip to S. Africa so she could catch the next world cup game, without having to squint through pixelated motions. Now hows that for an ambition. I wanna start saving up for that too. But you know me, always wanting to a larger stride ahead of others, I'm a culture vulture who feeds on differences to survive. Now that means, i have four years to make friends with peeps living around South Africa. :) If you are hot, have a six pack, preferably male and willing to escort some chicks from the east in the year 2010, just holler back aight. Well, parents included. Moving o...