Mundane Nothings

Hari Raya came and went...It's now the 2nd week of the 4th term already which essentially means that I have like 8 weeks left to survive and if all goes smoothly, I'll be off on my trip out of SG by the 2nd week of December!! Hurrah! See, I told you it was gonna cruise by ever so swiftly :) I loike. Anyways, I am now officially in love with my Gian Carlo. He is amazing. He makes me happy when I am down and those shots he captures, I oh-so love the colours! It's that time of the year again, the Mid-Autumn Festivities doled out a massive landscape of colours and lights for us all to take in and armed with Gian Carlo, we prowled the streets of Chinatown and its proximity for stuff that are worthy of being captured and kept as keepsakes. :) Here are some that excite my senses... I love this shot. Damn, I'm really that good. Hehe. I'm better off out of here, before I start saying things I'd regret. :) Cheers people!

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My first ride on the Circle Line.

My kolong blok. Its the first day of the fasting month, and I'm dead beaten. I should get used to this by the end of the week... I hope. I can't remember much about my day, perhaps coz I spent most of it in bed. Snoozing keeps the urge to sin at bay. I'm supposed to be marking my kids' work. I knew I shouldn't have given them that much work over the long weekend. Bleah. Oh well, its week 7 already. I'm almost there. Right? I was just wondering, is it just me, Im convinced it's just me. I've carelessly discarded the very need to assess 'prior knowledge' and the whole 'tuning-in' aspect of my lessons. It's so pivoted on drill and practice that I feel like the most mundane in the school. I need to buck up! RICH Lesson next week. I shall bring out my ammo? And what's that? Well, I have the weekends to figure that part out. Haiz. I really don't wanna be boring. :( Look who I found while at the supermarket!? That's right, a stra...

And tomorrow I will not need to have breakfast or lunch. I know for sure my grumpiness will increase manifolds. It shouldn't be too bad. And lately, I've been seeing a lot of really irksome facebook updates that elicits even more irksome responses. Here's one of many more to come. I'm not even gonna bother with the censoring of names. Seriously, fuck it. Talk about senseless stereotypes. I'll delete this post when I feel guilt-ridden, which by the way is unlikely to happen. Anyways, Happy Fasting people!

Oh...and here's a... Happy 45th Birthday Singapore!

Not! I woke up at 11am today, not bothering with a bath, headed for the living room where I left my D90 the night before. It was still there. Pleading silently for me to stick the battery in. My impulses are too strong to be subdued. And a new hobby is kick started. We'll see how long it'll last! :) Let's keep this entry short.

They do! Here are a few incidents that got me in stitches. During basketball practice: Kid: Cher! My ball is rolling away...My ball is rolling away!!! Teacher1 looks at Teacher2...and then breaks into laughter... During assembly: Kid: (Flipping through the official World Cup 2010 Sticker book) Teacher: I do not want to see that book in my class. You know I really love soccer right. If I see it, it shall be mine, permanently...You understand? Kid: Ok. I will give it to you after I've collected all the stickers k? Teacher: ...Huh?... In a classroom during the first period...Teacher was collecting homework from the kids. Now, the kids were told the previous day that, their homework was supposed to be the 'passport' to the day's lessons. No homework= no lesson for them ( so they'd have to 'park' themselves outside class). Kid: cher, my mother said that the Passport is a very important document. Teacher: Exactly, so without it, you can't stay in class. Kid: B...

"Honey, I'm home!" I came home to an empty house today and that was the first thing I said. I have always wanted to utter those words, it's just that I never actually got in a situation where it applies. But today, for some weird reason, I spurt it out and guess what?... Guess la! Yes, it felt so damn good!!! Like something that was supposed to be let lose finally got its chance to be liberated. Like a fart that has always wanted to be one with the local air. Cool right? My analogies are becoming more blatant. A sign of an impending onslaught of trigger-happy moments. Anyways, I bought my ticket to Fried Rice Paradise. Finally. I had to give in to catching it on T-day coz all the slots I wanted were fully booked. Like what the hell? So now, I'll be stuck in the same hall with a whole lotta teachers (Read: EWE), breathing the same air, laughing at the same things, clapping at the same curtain call. So much for wanting to stash my occupation into obscurity. Oh well....

You know, when Inception first opened here, I noticed a hike in the number of FB status raving about its awesomeness. I'd roll my eyes. I mean, seriously, how awesome can a one-word-titled movie be? Little did I know, I was sooo wrong. I accidentally caught the movie last night, thanks to me really bored sis, and boy was I blown away. I walked out of the cinema, thinking of what I'd have for my personal Totem. Whoosh. I'm still trying to figure that part out though. Christopher Nolan, bless your heart! I finally managed to return that silly graduation gown and yes I got my fifty bucks back, without even having to utter a single word. It was nice, especially on a day when I really didn't feel like talking. Hailed a cab, which by the way took damn long to come. I had to wait like for an hour before I finally spotted a cab. At that instant I seriously contemplated just bidding that fifty bucks away. Like perhaps, I could just burn the gown and derive some twisted level of ...

I need a wardrobe overhaul. I want long, flowy skirts. Loads of them. I want long hair that could dance in the wind. I want to be able to wrap my hair in a bun and have flowers stuck in it, don't ask. Its my current fling. Flowers. I want to be able to walk around, barefoot. Again, don't ask, it must be the innate amazonian tendencies in me set in motion by my status quo. I want to be made. Ok, re-made. I need a change. We'll see how much I'm willing to invest in that. My status quo. What is it again? My big, like really big boss handed me a letter from the Bigger than big boss. It says that I'm a Geo 1.1. Whatever that is. I didn't want to read that letter but the words "1 year of probation" caught my attention. And it didnt help that my bosses were telling me how I'm now "legal." Now that, mind you, isn't as good as it used to sound. You know how when you were 15, you can't wait to reach 16 coz that makes you bloody well "l...

No, I didnt die. Unfortunately so. I think I'm a boring teacher. I have an uncanny ability to make everything sound really mundane. It doesnt help that the school's computer is running on some ancient operating system that is super slow and it doesnt support most of the fancy fonts and animations. Not that, THAT would spice up my ever boring lessons. Its frustrating. I can't help but feel lousy. Gue maunya kelas yang sederhana aja. Enggak mau yang punya anak2 yang terlalu pandai lagi bijaksana. Gue stress dibuatnya. Semuanya sok tau aja. Gawat! Blearh. On a happier note, I've got my Hongkong-Korea trip settled. Yeah, no Christmassy-Japan, coz I couldn't possibly spend Christmas without the family. I'd feel miserable. :) :D I can't wait till the end of the year! Hmm... 3 weeks down so 17 more weeks to go! Yeah~

And I'll say that again...I'm really convinced. That's what the presence of blood tends to generate. Hematuria. Like a lot! You know, suddenly I wish all that is coming out of my V instead of elsewhere. I know, this potentially gonna be a lewd post that i'd probably regret at some point in the coming days. The hell, but that where the 'delete post' option comes in. Nonetheless, I have this dire need in me to let this all out so that I won't end up weeping in my sleep and then not wake up again and then regretting not leaving any trace of my existence behind. I know, I'm being overwhelmingly dramatic, but I'm not me without some drama sprinkled on ya. I don't mean to sound like Ris Low, I just naturally punctuate my sentences with a 'ya' and hell, I started doing that way before her! Back to the matter at hand. I'm dying. I'm no doctor, but if I were to guess I think it's stone in the bladder. *shrugs* Hmm, if it is, I want to ...

Its really funny how things turn out, when you just couldn't give a rat's ass about planning anymore. Surprisingly good. The irony of all ironies. Perhaps sometimes its good to be reckless. Just dive into things. Don't think, just do it. Or wait for things to happen and then take a step along and follow through. Life at the workplace is bearable. Thus far. I am drained by the time I get home, but I can still find my way home, so yeah. It is bearable. I just hope I could plan more lessons instead of embarking entirely on this insane syllabus chase. I hate these mindless giving out and collecting of worksheets. I wanna put a halt to it but I know it is beyond my control. I need to part-take in this paper rush, whether I like it or not. Damn it! And the marking, isn't supposed to be this overwhelming, is it? Perhaps, I've lost my stamina for marking. Great, now I'm making up excuses. Investiture is next week and it our presence is made mandatory. Sucks. It's a ...

The plan was to ditch you. Yes, you. I was going to just abandon you because I thought that this other medium called Twitter was gonna suffice. I was wrong. Whats new right? So here I am, grovelling for your mercy. Take me back! Yes? Ok. That was easy. *winks* I had a blast, before today. Everything was more perfect than I pictured it to be. The Sun wasn't as vicious as I thought it would be and the guys at the beach had more chiselled six-packs than the ones I imagined. It was beautiful. The food was great, the people were all smiles and even the trees were beckoning for us. It was splendid. I only saw these moments in my dreams prior to this. Perhaps sometimes, when he wants to, God can be really nice. And Sanur was awesome. It was so good, I could actually picture myself having hot languid you know what on the shores of its beach. Speaking of you know what, I think my airplane-toilet you know what has been rekindled. *grins* My primate urges. I rest my case. So I never really c...

I’m sure that I will always be A lonely number like root three The three is all that’s good and right, Why must my three keep out of sight Beneath the vicious square root sign, I wish instead I were a nine For nine could thwart this evil trick, with just some quick arithmetic I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321 Such is my reality, a sad irrationality When hark! What is this I see, Another square root of a three As quietly co-waltzing by, Together now we multiply To form a number we prefer, Rejoicing as an integer We break free from our mortal bonds With the wave of magic wands Our square root signs become unglued Your love for me has been renewed -Harold & Kumar... This made me laugh. Not the hyena shrilly kinda laugh. Just the hearty, dame-like, proper laugh with appropriate hand gestures, you know the one with the fingers covering the mouth...Yes, THAT kinda laugh. Funny shit. :)

Ok, where should I even begin! So I've had this planned out since like, practicum. It was one of the plays that instantly spoke to me. When I saw it being listed on SISTIC's website, I was like, "I NEED to watch that." Alas, no one wanted to go. Bluek. So ultimately, I decided to go for it alone only to find out that my sister was also catching the play, with her NIE mates. We were seated separately though. So technically, I was alone. Heh. And I loved it. Seriously. So, I got my green lenses today (allow me to digress for a bit ya) and I could have sworn, green lenses and high heels empowers me! For real, I felt like I could take on the world! Like Sayuri possessed me. Yes, that chick from Memoirs of the Geisha for the uninitiated. Sheesh. Ok, back to the topic at hand. My evening was exceptionally good (I say its the green eyes and heels ). A marginally good looking dude sat beside me on the train. And then there was this hot prawnball at the escalator at Bugis MRT....

I stroked his pallid cheeks as he looked right through me. His eyes were brimming with tears and I could tell he was in so much pain. I wanted to help him but I did not know how. His chapped lips started to twitch. He needed to say something but he did not have the strength to cough out a single word. I held his slender fingers, they were cold and they scared me. I knew I was losing him... And that was when I woke up . I could literally feel the coldness in my hand when I was jolted back to life! Imagine this:Waking up with your vision blurred up and convinced that you are going blind because for that moment you kinda forgot you just had a dream and that your eyes are welling up with tears. So drama, I know. Drama always happens to me. -_- I've had nightmares, sweet dreams (oh yes, with a Maserati in it), happy dreams, prophetic dreams of the future, wishful-thinking sorta dreams (no, no wet dreams), but never a Sad dream. This was the first of its kind. It leaves me unsettled and...

Modern-day educated females leave me baffled and gasping for the right words to lucidly describe their peculiar behaviour. I am obscenely appalled by the latest web of bull-shitty female behaviour I've had to put up with. This coming from the females who are supposedly educated, you know, considering the fact that they are able to reel in a stable income. *rolls eyes* A minor comment on a social networking site on a now former friend's profile actually ticked the other-half off. And now I'm in for an epic onslaught of hate. I got booted off his friend's list and not by him, mind you. A friend off my list doesn't leave a dent on my pride, seriously. It's the very reason or lack of reason behind that act that actually grosses me out. And it also got me thinking, if marriage is about having your spouse annex your privacy, regardless of whether its your tangible space or virtual space, then the very institution of marriage will not work for me. In fact, it disgusts ...

World meet Buttercup. Buttercup meet World.

Hell yeah! 3 weeks! Awesome shit. The only thing thats bugging me is that, why'd they hafta tell us this like so late into the semester. I could have made travel plans man. 3 weeks across Europe! On my own... without my parents consent. Ok, far fetched, but it's worth a dream. Nonetheless, I get 3 weeks of bumming. Hah! I'm gonna savour every damn moment of it. I'm gonna soak myself in utter delirious fun and lose myself in my very own laughter. I'm gonna sit myself at some sidewalk cafe and people watch till my eyes spin. I'm gonna... Yah, you get the drift. Waste my pretty life away, for that gorgeous 3 weeks. YAY! Three cheers for Vinna! Hip Hip Hooray (x3)... Anyways, this is my last week of practicum and I am going to lick it and chew on it and suck on it with relish! With great delight! Lesson plans can kiss my arse... in a bit, I think. So now, let me give you, rather let me give myself (I'm convinced now, that no one reads my blog, which is both sad ...

WHEN WE TWO PARTED by: George Gordon (Lord) Byron (1788-1824) HEN we two parted In silence and tears, Half broken-hearted To sever for years, Pale grew thy cheek and cold, Colder thy kiss; Truly that hour foretold Sorrow to this. The dew of the morning Sunk chill on my brow-- It felt like the warning Of what I feel now. Thy vows are all broken, And light is thy fame: I hear thy name spoken, And share in its shame. They name thee before me, A knell to mine e...

Yeah, suddenly felt the strange urge to word things out, before I end up forgetting these salient moments. I had a funny conversation with my autistic kid today. I was in class and since I'm not teaching, why not walk around and help out with the marking of corrections. I passed this fellow's table and immediately realised he was in his own world. He had his papers tucked under his table and the entire table of his was filled with stationery, quite strategically sprawled out and positioned. I could have ignored him, like I usually would, for the fear of having to handle a flare up...but not today. I had that same urge, I just had to speak to this boy. Because he after all did shock the class once when he decided to raise his hands and participate in a random math quiz I had for the class, not long ago. So yeah, I started asking him, why is it that his worksheets are under his table, really, it was more rhetorical than not. I really anticipated no reply at all. Then he looked up...

6 working days to go... I'm getting to the end of things. Right?But I'm not going to jinx myself by already reminiscing about my practicum experience (sordid and not so sordid ones) just yet. I'll wait till it actually docks safely at this harbour. I'm still holding on to that last sigh of relief. It has to come out, right? I'm waiting for that perfect moment, where I can shed every ounce of my worries and strip myself off this ominous presence that weighs me down... Blogging and just allowing my thoughts to unscramble itself, used to be so much fun. It's been reduced to a mere manifestation of measly complains and petty encounters. This is bad. I've lost my mojo. :) I have a feeling he is (its gotta be a guy) just hiding behind that palladium column in that peek-a-boo position, sticking his head out when he's convinced no one is watching him. Come back to me you mofo! I need that jolt of spunk. Makes me smile, despite the fact that it clearly demystifi...

Twenty-five years and my life is still Trying to get up that great big hill of hope For a destination And I realized quickly when I knew I should That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man For whatever that means And so I cry sometimes When I'm lying in bed Just to get it all out What's in my head And I am feeling a little peculiar And so I wake in the morning And I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream at the top of my lungs What's going on? And I say, hey hey hey hey I said hey, what's going on? ooh, ooh ooh and I try, oh my god do I try I try all the time, in this institution And I pray, oh my god do I pray I pray every single day For a revolution And so I cry sometimes When I'm lying in bed Just to get it all out What's in my head And I am feeling a little peculiar And so I wake in the morning And I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream at the top of ...

This is when things get interesting. A sudden high and then a free-falling low. Imagine that being repeated over and over again. I'm forgetting what it actually is like to feel that moment of temporary bliss. I can no longer smile like I actually mean it. The essence: it's pretty fucked up being me right now. I thought I was strong enough for this, apparently not. Bawling my eyes out never felt better. I wish people could act more humanely and be as honest as their mothers would have taught them to be. It would simply make life less complicated, especially if you are being placed at their fucking mercy. If things aren't right, then say so at the fucking start. Don't fucking smile and tell me everything is fine when it isn't. Ok...to be continued...I can't think when Im breaking down again...

It's been six weeks and I'm still alive. Thankfully. I am so glad to have met the two other girls. Its so nice to have mates who perpetually strive to make each others' day better. And now, since the blasting induction, we have sworn ourselves to secrecy. I never thought I'd be a part of something like that, seriously. It was like being in primary school all over again, as a student that is. It was hard trying to keep a straight face while completing my markings, during contact time. And the sudden dose of guilt from that explosive delight really didn't help at all! What an experience...I'll not forget this anytime soon. :) So, I've still got my work cut out for me and the coming weeks are not gonna get any easier. Take it as it come is all I've got planned. Last week was really nice though. Making boys cry has become second nature to me. At least now I know how to anticipate the exact moment when their tears will come streaming down. That way, I can ra...

Somehow, I think the world would be a much better place when people are more like this Callen kid. Such a darling!

I don't know what week of my practicum this is. I know its either the 5 th or the 6 th . Either ways, no difference made. I'm down and out. For a moment there, I actually felt like a mean marking machine but I spiraled downwards thereafter. I'm so exhausted from all the need to be creative and enthusiastic all the time. The lesson planning is sucking the living shit out of me and guess what, there is no avenue to vent this crap out. I should take up Muay Thai or something. Anything that allows me to beat something up and not get beaten up in return would be perfect. Baking! That's it. I need to bake. Unfortunately, I'm without the luxury of having time on my side. Fucking hell... I am so damn listless right now, its sad! Walking zombie. Pretty much sums up my very existence for the time being. It's going to get worse. I know for sure. Maybe I should have just kick started a career at the interior design consultancy that I oh so coveted for. I'd be like col...

I am so damn close to disowning my bowel. Seriously! Having to dash to the loo every couple of hours really isn't the most ideal situation for someone on practicum. I need to be in a state of absolute calmness so that I can think, contemplate and execute my lesson plans as flawlessly as possible. That's the ideal plan lah . But the damn insolent bowel movements just disrupts everything! I thought it was gonna rest itself off and disappear if I left it on its own...I was so wrong. It lasted for a week before I finally relented and got myself checked. Stomach flu. That's what I caught. A fucking stomach flu... And I could only afford a day of MC. Just one. Coz I need to get the observations over and done with. Bloody hell, a week ago, everything seemed like a breeze. Now, it feels like a storm! Haiz . How? How? How? What if I need to dash off in the middle of my lesson? Bleargh . This ain't fair. I slept for 18 hours today. The longest thus far. It was sheer paradise. ...

Anything at all. Anything that can make me...wet. :) Un -dry, inspired, aroused... Anything la! I need directions dear. One after another, not merely one direction. Don't tell me to turn left, coz I won't know what to do after turning left. Do I go straight? Turn right or turn left again? Argh . And thats me right now. Hmph . Clueless. My dad says I should not get all too stressed out when things don't go my way and that I should not devout all my time on deadlines and lesson plans. Believe it or not, I think he's damn right. I am a laid back kinda person and anything other than being that would snap me into a solemn mode that sets my pimple popping. Hence, I shall ditch the frown that I oh-so-often have on. I'm not going to shout at the kids. Uh uh. I'm just going to be myself and let my sarcasm prevail. I shall be nice when people are deserving of it. Which reminds me, I need to make a point and make it loud and clear so I'll remember that people like th...