The Dawn of a New Pain.
Blearghhhh. Urghhhhshheeeeeesshh. Yeah. The funny sounds made while blood is drained off. The half-fucked pain that leaves me gasping for air. Reapers. My monthly woes.
Lets trod on happy stuff shall we?
Exams are over! Muahahahha!
It should have ended earlier. Bugger me had to go take a module that ends way too late and unlike Adeline, I don't fancy singlety dudes. SO, no gain whatsoever. Bleagh. It was plain menial labour. But thats over now.
My dads back home, and I, yes I, couldn't be more happier. Don't ask.
I went to Orchard, sounds weird. I went to go see what the big fuss with the whole Christmas Light up was about. I was all hyped up and excited like I was when I was still snorting out strawberries and wearing size 3 mary janes. I even rehearsed my smiles and organised my poses. Yes! Imagine my disappointment when all I got were meshes of wire with tiny lighted bulbs, cute cherubs in dark gloomy corners, a lighted harp with no christmassy tune oozing out of it and loads of sedate christmas trees. The Christmas tree at the Hospital looked better, even with their fake prezzies and fake snow. The prettiest ones are hung so high, you'd need to be on a staionary double-decker to get a decent shot. There were no moving snowman or santas! How can they not have santas! I hate Orchard Rd! Hmph. So not picture-friendly.
Happy stuff vinna, come on happy stuff.
OK...I know its like wayyyyy early to get my new year resolution up, but what the hell, since when did i ever play by the rules? I never really believed in having new year resolutions, but today, while I was sitting at the bus stop and waiting for that damn bus to come, it suddenly struck me, yeah something marginally quite like what the Buddha experienced under that Bodhi tree, it struck me nonetheless, I'm too fond of harping on the past. I manouvre around the lanes of what should have, could have and would have happened if i did or did not do that, bla bla bla. Silly me. If i'm not doing that, I'd be too caught up perfecting the future which isn't even near. Fantasising about the perfect men, yes I'm a greedy lil whore, MEN, cooking up a chase-worthy storm of a future. Its all fictitious. It used to serve me well. Gives me that added dimension of reachable hope, or at least thats what I would have wanted it to be. Fodder to my innate desires no matter how pretentious all of it was. I'm too old for pretenses. Too old. I've had enough of it, them, all of them. They need to leave. I need to chug down this lane they call The Present. Thats right they call the shots, we follow. Thats just the way it is. I haven't been following, I've been dancing around, hiding behind the parapet wall and throwing rocks at the boys. Oh wait, I really did that. Anyways, I'm doing anything but following the lead and breathing in the urgencies of the present. So here I am... armed with my new year resolution and feeling all psyched up to take on the world, I need to live in the Present.
Lets hope this spirit of bravado and to-hell-with-everything-else stays for a bit.
Lets trod on happy stuff shall we?
Exams are over! Muahahahha!
It should have ended earlier. Bugger me had to go take a module that ends way too late and unlike Adeline, I don't fancy singlety dudes. SO, no gain whatsoever. Bleagh. It was plain menial labour. But thats over now.
My dads back home, and I, yes I, couldn't be more happier. Don't ask.
I went to Orchard, sounds weird. I went to go see what the big fuss with the whole Christmas Light up was about. I was all hyped up and excited like I was when I was still snorting out strawberries and wearing size 3 mary janes. I even rehearsed my smiles and organised my poses. Yes! Imagine my disappointment when all I got were meshes of wire with tiny lighted bulbs, cute cherubs in dark gloomy corners, a lighted harp with no christmassy tune oozing out of it and loads of sedate christmas trees. The Christmas tree at the Hospital looked better, even with their fake prezzies and fake snow. The prettiest ones are hung so high, you'd need to be on a staionary double-decker to get a decent shot. There were no moving snowman or santas! How can they not have santas! I hate Orchard Rd! Hmph. So not picture-friendly.
Happy stuff vinna, come on happy stuff.
OK...I know its like wayyyyy early to get my new year resolution up, but what the hell, since when did i ever play by the rules? I never really believed in having new year resolutions, but today, while I was sitting at the bus stop and waiting for that damn bus to come, it suddenly struck me, yeah something marginally quite like what the Buddha experienced under that Bodhi tree, it struck me nonetheless, I'm too fond of harping on the past. I manouvre around the lanes of what should have, could have and would have happened if i did or did not do that, bla bla bla. Silly me. If i'm not doing that, I'd be too caught up perfecting the future which isn't even near. Fantasising about the perfect men, yes I'm a greedy lil whore, MEN, cooking up a chase-worthy storm of a future. Its all fictitious. It used to serve me well. Gives me that added dimension of reachable hope, or at least thats what I would have wanted it to be. Fodder to my innate desires no matter how pretentious all of it was. I'm too old for pretenses. Too old. I've had enough of it, them, all of them. They need to leave. I need to chug down this lane they call The Present. Thats right they call the shots, we follow. Thats just the way it is. I haven't been following, I've been dancing around, hiding behind the parapet wall and throwing rocks at the boys. Oh wait, I really did that. Anyways, I'm doing anything but following the lead and breathing in the urgencies of the present. So here I am... armed with my new year resolution and feeling all psyched up to take on the world, I need to live in the Present.
Lets hope this spirit of bravado and to-hell-with-everything-else stays for a bit.
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