What happened to the Sun?
A day of languid thoughts. Righteous and unrighteous. I sat carelessly on the beachfront cabana, sipping my mojitos and periodically sucking in a lung full of rolled Habanos. The splendid sun at its peak, sizzling any unwanted worries. I was thoroughly entertained by my cabanaboy's rendition of Dirty Dancing as well as his doe-like eyes. They twinkle in mischief when he steers past sexual innuendos. He thinks its funny, I didn't, but I laughed nonetheless.At him, at me, at the rest of the world. A small price to pay to keep him within reach.
The hell. Who am i kidding? That's a wish even santa couldn't grant.
Reality was a whole lot more mundane.
I was stuck at fucking Pasir Ris Park today. Yeah, no studies, yet again. I'm probably gonna fail mighty bad for my exams. No surprise. I'm saying this not to console myself or brag about how much importance i've placed on academic excellence, rather...I'm saying this coz its really whats happening. Its seriously not some fucking mind game, you geek-shits so often thrive on.
Anyways, back to the Beach. We played Black Jack. My dad was made the Chengke'...who cares how its spelt ey. It was great. Sinfully great, despite losing most of my dinero. You see, exams essentially mean nothing in my family. Fun governs us. It got me this far... So, no complaints there. Its just that sometimes, the guilt trips suffocate me. I don't wanna be the fallen slacker who becomes the butt of Maria's jokes.
"hahah....why ask her? She is nothing but a slacker..." I could imagine all that coming. I don't want it.
Its hard to study (or even pretend to) anything when the rest of the household's chatting about their plans for Christmas. Which party to go to? WHere should dinner be at Oh, what to wear? It doesn't help that HBO just had to be showing most of their 'watchable' movies at this time of the year. Shakespeare in love! Just like Heaven! Lady in the Water! Friday NIght Lights! Shakespeare in love again! Just like Heaven again! Rumour has it! They have repeats. How can i NOT watch repeats!!! I prayed for those!!!
Fucking blissful time of the year, if not for the constant diabolical whispers, telling me i should be doing something else...study perhaps.
Look at me...suddenly I've got soooo much to talk about! Even the exclaimation marks couldn't cover half of my anxiety. Buggeration.
The hell. Who am i kidding? That's a wish even santa couldn't grant.
Reality was a whole lot more mundane.
I was stuck at fucking Pasir Ris Park today. Yeah, no studies, yet again. I'm probably gonna fail mighty bad for my exams. No surprise. I'm saying this not to console myself or brag about how much importance i've placed on academic excellence, rather...I'm saying this coz its really whats happening. Its seriously not some fucking mind game, you geek-shits so often thrive on.
Anyways, back to the Beach. We played Black Jack. My dad was made the Chengke'...who cares how its spelt ey. It was great. Sinfully great, despite losing most of my dinero. You see, exams essentially mean nothing in my family. Fun governs us. It got me this far... So, no complaints there. Its just that sometimes, the guilt trips suffocate me. I don't wanna be the fallen slacker who becomes the butt of Maria's jokes.
"hahah....why ask her? She is nothing but a slacker..." I could imagine all that coming. I don't want it.
Its hard to study (or even pretend to) anything when the rest of the household's chatting about their plans for Christmas. Which party to go to? WHere should dinner be at Oh, what to wear? It doesn't help that HBO just had to be showing most of their 'watchable' movies at this time of the year. Shakespeare in love! Just like Heaven! Lady in the Water! Friday NIght Lights! Shakespeare in love again! Just like Heaven again! Rumour has it! They have repeats. How can i NOT watch repeats!!! I prayed for those!!!
Fucking blissful time of the year, if not for the constant diabolical whispers, telling me i should be doing something else...study perhaps.
Look at me...suddenly I've got soooo much to talk about! Even the exclaimation marks couldn't cover half of my anxiety. Buggeration.
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